Lunch Date

He opened the lunch box she had so painstakingly packed for him. He knew it wouldn't have finger-licking dishes inside. She had just started learning how to cook. Hunting for online recipes for beginners had become her new hobby. He appreciated the effort and he knew he would take back an empty box to show his acknowledgment.

In the final container, he found a note saying:

"I burnt the special dish that was supposed to go into this container and there was no time to start again. Thought I'd pack you some extra love instead.

p.s: I am Calvin and you are my Hobbes."

Favourited Vol. IX ('To read and to fuck')

“Books are finite, sexual encounters are finite, but the desire to read and to fuck is infinite; it surpasses our own deaths, our fears, our hopes for peace.” 

— 2666, Roberto Bolaño

Muah Muah

Lips can speak a thousand words.
Lips can touch a thousand emotions.
Lips can touch a million senses.

Lips can bring back the kiss that was a guilt-free aweso-ndary indulgence, in the wee hours of closeness. The parting lips give out the sighing breaths at dawn break bringing back flashes of that magical moment when nothing else mattered. Cool breeze flowing through the window waking up the lips from a caged pout into a indebted smile.

And the prize goes to...

There are times when I feel exceedingly grateful for being born in an age where communication is the way it is. The miscommunications, the non-communications, and the missed-communication have their silver linings too.

Although, at times I want to bleed words in a hope that someone/something would notice and take the pains to just take a moment and just try. The result, might most often be failure but at least the I deserved the time and the effort. And then, there are times when something inside me refuses to bare it all, refuses to be a like a goldfish trapped in a glass-bowl without any hope for an escape or even a compensatory privacy. If I can't have the right to be understood, I should at least have the freedom for absolute privacy. There can be nothing more humiliating than being a thing of display but a subject of indifference.

In the few secretive moments of wishful clairvoyance, I see myself standing farther than the sound, the light, the tough, the smell I want myself to be engulfed in right now and I am thankful for the content smile that escapes the lips wet my the dripping tears of an overnight chore.


 It is for the likes of the following that I know that this year (2010) and life in general has been kind to me:

'You know why I like you coz you are you. coz you aren't the average simple girl.coz you are complex and that speaks to me dozens than your one simple smile. I like the way of putting yourself, the  simplicity of your being. The way you have a great style and the mindlessness and random gibberish you talk and think. It is not about whether your thoughts are high or not but has get depth. I like you coz you are you. It's not that complex you know...loving you, I mean.'

p.s: 1) thanx PGB 
2) I am aware that the week-long challenge has failed, owing to some technical difficulties. I am off desserts since yesterday.12 more days to go. T_T

True story

My friend (say B) and I(A, for the obvious reason) thought we'd order in dinner tonight.

A:  What do you want?

B: Chinese?

A: sure. (hands her over the menu)

B: Chicken in Kung Pao sauce?

A: Ok. How about some noodles with that?

B: Ok. You pick.

A: I don't know what to pick...ummm...suggest something.

B: Just pick something funny.

A: Okay. Veg. Basket noodles?

B:  Cool.

*The food arrives*

And what we see in front of us makes stuff for a good community laughter.
B asked me to pick something 'funny', I didn't know I could do it so well.
Even my food has a sense of humour. :-l


So this is what we ordered:

 This is what we got:

The noodle basket and the veggies

polithinks: #slapyourself if you ordered Chinese noodle basket and you actually got a basket made of noodles.

Favourited Vol. II (Colonized: not a choice)

• "It's SHITE being ******! We're the lowest of the low. The scum of the fucking Earth! The most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic trash that was ever shat into civilization. Some hate the English. I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are COLONIZED by wankers. Can't even find a decent culture to be colonized BY. We're ruled by effete assholes. It's a SHITE state of affairs to be in, Tommy, and ALL the fresh air in the world won't make any fucking difference!  "

[Trainspotting(1996)]

Favourited Vol I (Uncomfortable Silences)

Mia: Don't you hate that?
Vincent: What?
Mia: Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?
Vincent: I don't know. That's a good question.
Mia: That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence. 

[PULP FICTION (1994)]

quotes. Vol.II

'Paris Hilton: I'm a Hilton, I don't bow... but I do bend over. '
-Meet the Spartans.

Memory Keeper

I stare into the eyes in the ripples of water

There is someone I know talking a stroll.

Let the ripples be, let the time crawl

'Mirror mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all?'

A thought might strike me and pass,

I let you be , I let you go , I let you move from now to past.

If I were to cherish every moment of my life. It would have become a history textbook and, quite frankly, historical compositions aren't always the most interesting reads one comes across.

What I cherish most is my forgetfulness, my laziness to capture every moment into a more concrete form, my indifference to to the fact that my life, as I see it, might one day be as gone as I would be.

Yet i also cherish the moments You remind me of,in one those moods of yours. I cherish the 'stories' almost unaware that I have once lived them myself.

i cherish you as my memory keeper and I wish it to be so till I am capable of creating them.

The crack between the heart and soul

"The worst is not,So long as we can say, 'This is the worst."

- King Lear

Sometimes life is an episode, if not a full-scale spectacle of a movie; a tear-jerker nonetheless.

It occurred to me, does not matter when, that the notion of what is ‘real’ hardly explains what goes on in life. It is, in fact, a major understatement. Sublimely reel and subliminally surreal, is what I say it is.

I write this post on the eve of the 1^st anniversary of one of the major crises in my life. I seem to have come a long way, a very long way (sometimes it does feel like years and decades have passed between then and now).  I trust , I admire , I am in awe , still , of things , people and events but  these moments are rare and far spaced out now, kind of reminds me of the molecules of the gaseous state of matter I used to imagine floating by me , when we were being taught the difference between different states of matter.

I did have a solid state. I wasn’t a cynic all my life (I feel like an old granny speaking through the specks of memory). I didn’t think I could doubt and still love. I loved and lived and forgot to ask what my mind wanted to me to ask. The heart and the mind were, then, to me binary oppositions. The heart said what is true and the mind said what is right. It worked well for me until this very day last year.

 That was the day the mirror cracked to dissolve the wall I held up between my heart and my mind. I realized what being a human being really is. I have a heart and a complex mind for a reason. I am not some primal soul with a mysterious connection with the super/supra/Para/hyper-natural. I gathered that I fully realize my being not only by striding towards  big umbrella terms like humanity, success, achievement, happiness, knowledge but rather just by using correctly – rather than fighting it- the intrinsic algorithm between mind and spirit.

I do not think I have reached the state of perfection yet. I am, in fact, a long way from it. But I am at least trying. The rule, now that I see it, is LOVE->;; DOUBT->;LOVE and not Doubt->;; Love->; Doubt. You never learn to love somebody, listening to your heart and mind, rather you love and then learn that it’s not perfect and still love.

I have loved my family, questioned its loyalty towards me and vice versa and came out of it feeling sure it is love. I have loved God and wanted a presence  when I was in need, couldn’t see it, doubted and came out knowing that the very fact that I could doubt hence search within myself powers to come out better is in itself the presence I craved. I have loved a person and even though there is in no way a ‘happily ever after’ in view even in long shot, I can finally feel that in spite of all of it in moments of great isolation even a thought changes my mood. “The talisman of life”, to quote someone who manages to give me regular doses of food for thought, “should always be ‘in spite of’ and not ‘because of’”. 

At this moment when I can, on one hand, can feel my heart being churned like the fruit-shake I feel a sudden craving for, I cannot help but feel that that there is an aweso-ndary surrealistic quality about the whole thing that is almost satisfyingly cathartic.

Aweso-ndary

Polithinks: In life, it is never as good as one thinks it is. But the aweso-ndary part is, it is never as bad as one deems either.

There are moments in life, and then there are Moments in life. But  our concern today is the fact that there are also mOmEnTs in life and I hereby coin the term ‘aweso-ndary’ which would work as the only apt adjective to describe such bits of life which are neither only awesome nor exclusively legendary but truly AWESO-NDARY!

This term is applicable to those liminal mOmEnTs which compel you stop and think- ‘Was I part of the most incredible, overwhelmingly screwed up, legendary, terrifyingly inexplicable, spookathonic, fantastically preternatural part of Time, a moment ago?’

Use it wisely.

Happy Birthday “Aweso-ndary”!

p.s: This blog post is an afterthought of watching 2 movies back to back, attending 8 hours of classes, breaking my head over my (ahem) finances, suffering from a constant self-pity on the state of sleep-depravity, doodling on my sock and trying to find appropriate expletives for an ex(now distant)  for the want of something to keep myself amused(I need an American dictionary and all of the ‘yo mama’ series to be able to remotely succeed ).Hence, sorry for the note of incoherence, if any.