Showing posts with label read. Show all posts
Showing posts with label read. Show all posts

Friday, April 8

Favourited Vol. IX ('To read and to fuck')

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Books are finite, sexual encounters are finite, but the desire to read and to fuck is infinite; it surpasses our own deaths, our fears, our hopes for peace.” 
2666, Roberto BolaƱo

Friday, March 25

Nightmare

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...you wake up in a dream, I wander through the streets of memories once lived.
'do you hear me? I am talking to you'
craving to make the same mistakes, same crimes
over and over;
and
over and over.

I must write.
Must breathe.
I must suck the lifeless throbbing joy out of their veins.
*sigh*
I must, like the growing, brandishing corporate deity,
grip them with a disarming smile and make myself inevitable.
I must, like Macbeth's valentine, absolve my hands of the blood
which reeks of the transgressions I chose to so conveniently forget.
I must cry, and squirm, and cry some more-
"Here's the smell of the blood still: all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand. Oh, oh, oh!"
A whimper of the bang that wasn't.

You wake up, this time in a real dream.





p.s.: shared with Thursday Poets Rally Week 40

Friday, April 16

Scoring a century with confessions.

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What/when/to whom was the:
1. Last beverage I had: Ice tea
2.
Last phone call I made: Dad
4.
Last song I listened to: Carnival of lust(Poets of Fall)
5.
Last time I cried: wednesday

HAVE I EVER:
6.
Dated someone twice: Yeah
7.
Been cheated on: multiple times.(yeah, I know!)
8.
Kissed someone & regretted it: No
9.
Lost someone special: Yes
10.
Been depressed: Yes
11.
Been drunk and threw up: Yes

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS(I know this is cheating):
12. Purple/Mauve
13. Black
14. Aquamarine blue

THIS YEAR(2010) HAVE I:
15.
Made a new friend: No
16.
Fallen out of love: Condition still being analysed
17.
Laughed until I cried: No
18.
Met someone who changed me: No
19.
Found out who my true friends were: Yeah partly
20.
Found out someone was talking about me: Yes
21.
Kissed anyone on my friend's list: No

22. Had my heart broken: Yes.



23.
How many kids do I want to have: Two, I want to name them both.
25.
Do I want to change my name: Not anymore. there was a phase when I did.
26.
What did I do for my last birthday: Invited a friend to come over in the morning, spent half the day with her, left her waiting at my place to go on a date and then came back to join her for dinner.
27.
What time did I wake up today: 7:48am
28.
What was I doing at midnight last night: cutting out a pirate eye patch off a chat paper.(Don't ask)
29.
To name something I CANNOT wait for: My summer trip(details will come up here later as and when things happen)
30.
Last time I saw my Mother: January.
31.
The one thing I wish I could change about my life: The way my heart was broken.
32.
What am I listening to right now: Belief, John Mayer
33.
Have I ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes, gave him wrong directions(unintentionally).
34.
What's getting on my nerves right now: The assignments piling up and a few people
35.
Most visited webpage: Facebook. google.
37.
Nicknames: Poli, Mango
38.
Relationship Status: Single(celebrated the first anniversary of single-hood a while ago)

39. Zodiac sign: Saggitarius.
40.
How many times do I look at myself in the mirror each day: every time it happens to be infront of me.(approx 20 times)
41.
pet Peeve: Can't have food sitting across someone eating with their mouth open. the sight does something to me.
42.
Animal I hate: frog(I got peed on by a frog when i was 3/5 and thought it'd melt away. :-l)
43. T
he stupidest reason I was ever scared of : I once thought (because of swollen lymph nodes) I had tumour and hence cancer and I was gonna die. wrote people letters, confessing. Shouldn't have.
44
. Hair colour: brown.
45.
Long or short: Mid way
47.
Do I have a crush on someone: Harmless crush on five, depending on my mood.
48.
What do I like about yourself: matter of another blog-post
49.
Piercings: YES, ears(I hate piercings)
50.
Tattoos: One. left wrist.
51.
Righty or lefty: Righty.

FIRSTS :
52.
First surgery: I guess when they cut the umbilical cord
53.
First piercing: ears
54.
First best friend: Nabanita. she rediscovered me last month.
55.
First sport I joined: hop scotch
56.
First vacation: Kashmir(when I was one)
58.
First pair of shoes : a peach pair of Mary Janes which squeaked on each step.

RIGHT NOW

59.
Eating: Ceasar Chicken Salad and garlic bread
60.
Drinking: Third refill of ice tea
61.
I'm about to: clean the salad dressing I spilled on my shirt
62.
Listening to: my roomie speaking on the phone
63.
Waiting for: it to be midnight. have got a surprise planned.

 FUTURE :
64
.One thing that will happen for sure: (apart from death...) Me Bunjee jumping
65.
Get Married:yeah
66.
Career: of course.

WHICH IS BETTER :
67.
Lips or eyes: I feel its eyes, they say its lips.
68.
Hugs or kisses: kisses. not really a hug person.
69.
Read or write: Write when I am hyper-active. Read whenever
70.
Talk or write: I write better than I speak.
71. 
Planned or spontaneous: Spontaneous
72.
Fetish: hands(from wrist down)
73.
Slapstick humour or sarcasm: Sarcasm
74.
Early or late riser: Early
75.
Trouble maker or hesitant: Trouble maker.

HAVE I EVER :
76.
Kissed a stranger: no. But I would, if I am single and 50.
77.
Drank hard liquor: Yeah. hated it.
(http://amropali.blogspot.com/2010/01/25-random-things-about-me.html ponit 12.)
78. Lost glasses/contacts: Contacts thrice.But not for a year now.
79. 
Broken someone's heart: Yes, as a teen, shouldn't have but couldn't help. Suffer sporadic guilt pangs.
80. 
Been arrested: No. I am adventurous, not reckless.

81. Been made to stand outside a class: Yes, coz I convinced my friends to bunk a class and play (in 12th standard) in spite of being the School Prefect
82. 
Turned someone down: Yes.First time in 7th standard
83. 
Cried when someone died: Not yet
84.
 Fallen for a friend: Yes and it sucks.
85.
hustled: yeah. Broke someone's jaw in school , got my nose broken 2 years back, other minor injuries both parties.


DO I BELIEVE IN:
86.
Myself: Most the times.
87.
Miracles: not until I see one. But I am open to the concept.
88.
Love at first sight: No. Not meant for the world today
89.
Heaven:  Not the utopian place. But there are moments when I can't help but blurt out "Heaven!"
90.
Santa Claus:  no
91.
Kiss on the first date: Depends when the first date happens. (Things are different in India. We date date after the proposal.)
92.
Angels: yeah,but not the ones with the wings.


94.
Have  had more than 1 boyfriends at a time: Been on the receiving end, more than once.
95.
Did I sing today: A terrible singer, still.
(cf:http://amropali.blogspot.com/2010/01/25-random-things-about-me.html point 16. )
96. Ever cheated on somebody: depends, if flirting is cheating then yes.
97.
If I could go back in time, how far would I go: 3 years back. Would have slapped someone instead of smiling at the pathetically filmy antics.
98.
If I could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be: The day I came here to live alone.
99.
Am I afraid of falling in love : yes. also afraid of the present state of being in love.
100.
Will I ever confess again: YES. This mood seems to recur.

Sunday, February 28

The importance of saying 'Roger'

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As it happens I have grown up around a lot of brothers, and less of giggly, Barbie-obsessed girls. There was a time when my head was invariably clean shaven to give me the look of a 'bhai'(not brother, a 'respectable' mafia Don in certain parts of India). The point here is, that I have grown up playing more with guns and strategies to kill my virtual enemies than I have spent time about what my doll would like to wear for  the tea party on the weekend or her best friend's wedding reception. Naturally, I am quite familiar with the defense terminology which we as kids would, so unabashedly, use while shooting each other with sound bullets(dhoosh, dhishkiao etc).

Why I brought this up is because it suddenly occurred to me that it is through this word that fate brought two people together. If it weren't for the word 'Roger', I don't think I'd have been friends with this particular person(For convenience's sake let's name this person X). If you really must know (don
t tell me I didn't warn you)-"All men by nature desire knowledge " - a friend of mine (say 'Y') came from out of town and had to meet X, who now lived in my city. So Y texts X from my no.(to avoid roaming charges etc). The next day X texts me thinking it Y. I relay the fact of Y's absence. X tells me to pass on the msg n I say 'Roger that.' The reply, 'I didn't kno people in dis city knw da art f textin!! ' 
 viola!

That was then . The texting still continues. Sometimes typing takes over calls. This is not a post where I analyse the relationship. The point of concern here is that things we learn- irrespective of the place, the time, the intention, always seem to come back to make themselves useful in some curious way. this probably would be the best place to quote my favourite professor (his very first line, as far as I can remember, was): "I want  you to read, watch movies, experience life because from pornography to a dictionary, nothing goes to waste!"