Thursday, January 21



Back at home

Polithought:    I am sick of people asking me if its alright to go back to my campus now for it is "obviously safer to stay back and enjoy the 'special treatment' you are getting at home." Its been well over a month I've come back home now and the truth is, in spite of the love I have for my family, friends here and my bed, I don't like long vacations. I've never liked them when I was in school and I don't like them now.
     I want work or at least the feeling that i have deadlines(even though I hardly meet them and extensions being common in this part of the world). I want to wake up having  some plan to look forward to(even though the plan doesn't work out as planned). I know it sounds monotonous and something that everyone in this Post Modern, Capitalist, 'Corporaterized' (these as my 'Daddy' would say are all marketing terms) world seems to want to fight but I want a schedule. But why? I took out five minutes from my not-so-busy schedule and thought about it. What came out of this is that probably it pleases me to break out of these schedules, re-shape the moulds, challenge the authority. The fact that I am, essentially bound by many chains (again a stock load of marketing terms coming up) that is, as they say, is essential for an ideal life in this society: a 'happy future', a 'good career', a 'happy family', reputation, contacts, comfort etc; tends to make me want to enforce the idea of breaking these chains, even if for false gratification.

 In the campus
Excited about the courses I took up. Kind of in a mood to read, if not study.To strive for ideas and thoughts, more than marks(which I will work for when I feel the heat in a few weeks time. :-l) But the irony of the situation is that the 'good student' that  suddenly(and to my surprise)has risen inside me is being met by students with priorities which probably doesn't include pursuit of knowledge. There are greater, more radical, more desperate pursuits which my limited knowledge and interest in the concerning matters  restrict me from fully understand the state of affairs going on.
What I read in the papers back at home isn't much of a hype as I initially thought them to be.
I am not for or against anybody's cause here but all I wanted to do is, which may sound petty and selfish in the context of the larger 'wants' of the moment but this is how I feel, to attend classes and get out of the sloth that has gripped me owing to the long vacation  that I had been 'enjoying'.
Back in my UG classes I would have rejoiced the idea of the classes being forcefully stopped. But This time I was not really happy with scheme of things. Somehow, being forced out of an interesting discussion pissed me off and probably/might work towards the bias that I might fall prey to in the future if at all I do. I guess my idea of fun has changed. To come to think about it, I enjoy listening to people speak about great thinkers and their thoughts as much as I would watching Avatar 3D.

For now, I see in front of me a pile of photocopies that I plan to read and since my schedule for the next 3 days seems to have been decided by others all I can do is, well,read them.

Friday, January 8

I sing to ME

Woke up groggy from sleep. It took a moment for me figure out where i am.I was on the sofa having fallen asleep watching TV last night. The cushions didn't do good for my neck. Could hear mom shouting at my brother for 'sleeping like a bum when u should be half buried in ur books'. It felt too distant, like i was just a ghost, other-worldly, unattached and an unwilling observer to the events taking place.

Washed my face, my eyes stuck to the image I could see in the mirror. 'Its me', I thought.

Then i sang(i did mention that I sing terribly in my last blog post, didn't I?) this funk-rap ballad to 'Me'

'Y do u follow me so...[B***H]

(chorus)ahh yeah

Its not always about ME s'times its about 'me' too...

U never let me be alone [B***H] 
Follow me to every movie I go to,
followin' me to my classes
to my sleep
to my bad, to my good times
followin' me even to my solitude
(chorus)Ahh yeauuh!!
I never had a moment to myself, how i wish I could

(chorus)Dawg ahh ha
Witness me holla at a hoochie, even in a bloody dream!!
leave me alone, Ma head screams out 
It's just my luck I'm stuck with f**kin ME all the time, uh!

Wednesday, January 6

25 random things about me


At somebody's request I pen these down.
I would have liked it if I'd rather not, but here they are nonetheless.
This is in a random order and not sorted according to relevance or importance.

1.I am very impatient with idiots(and I have a lot of definitions for the word), arrogance and sarcasm are a cover up to keep such people at bay.

2.I am a foodie. Its now about ‘how much’ its about ‘what’. currant and choco chips , rocher happen to be my favourite flavours.

4.I hate strawberry - fruit and the flavour.

5.Don't like being labelled , especially if the labels are ‘sexy’, ‘babe’. I mean common who even came up with these words!!

6.I like a certain Peelu(coz he is yellow) the lion :)

7.Have had my heart broken, terribly and came out of it , to quote someone “better than ever!” (this I agree) and with ‘elegance’, (this not so much)

8. Birthday Dec.18. Its one of the hugest deal in the world to me.

9. Till about last year it was all about purple kohl, now its purple sandals and a purple lot of things.(I‘ve found a certain mint who shares the same passion for the colour).

10. The first ever phone I bought with my own hard earned cash was a Samsung E840. Love it. Love it. (*sigh* RIP)

11. I hate smokers(I stress not on smoking but on smokers). To break a not so nice truth Its not even remotely connected to the word ‘cool’.

12. I am not into alcohol(its just not made for my system, I‘d rather drink KFC Krushers) unless it flavours dark chocolate. Special mention - rum and raisin.

13. I am not jewelry person. The only jewelry you’d ever see me wearing would be occasional earrings.

14. I hate gold.

15. I am a terrible terrible singer.

16. Get into fits of singing aloud (particularly on a full stomach)!

17. I have been called a nerd many times for the only addiction I seem to have are probably books and sleep(what can I do, I am a bong)!

18. Yes, I am a bong.

19. I would like to change my race. A certain race I have in mind has, without fail, amazing amazing hair.(This is a comment on their biological built nothing to do with social, political construct)

20. I can be a cry baby and a drama queen when I want to.

21. I believe in God and his/her/its/some other exclusive pronoun(this always manages to confuse/intrigue me) magic but don’t believe in religions. In my opinion, they are all human distortions of God’s(at the risk of using an anthropologic term) word. In fact I would rather not call him/her/ it/ other God for the word itself is immensely constrictive considering the magnitude of mystery, power, energy in question.

22. I have ’my brand of humour’ and there is certain group of girls who would testify for it.

23. I am basically a shy person, I’d never go up to someone(I am not pals with) and start up a conversation unless it happens the other way around.

24. I hate it when people point at my tattoo and ask me ‘is that a real tattoo?’ My usual answer “No, I got up this morning and drew it. It took me 10 mins. In fact, I do it every morning.”

25. I have a short temper (which doesn‘t last more than half an hour) and I don’t handle it well.