Saturday, December 5

the life I've left behind

I've come back home for the holidays. I've not been away for long though, only a few odd months.

But things seems radically different now. It seems the my perspective has changed more than anything or maybe I am just burning my gray cells too much.

My friends, surroundings, relationships, obligations- all that i apparently miss when I am not here- seem to be more complex than what i remember them to be. I ask myself, was i really a part of this or things have just taken a different turn in my absence. Not that all of  it is bad, just that much of it is beyond my control or beyond capacity to fully comprehend or participate. I just nd up being an objective observer, a spectator as if all that is happening around me is some freak show, which will be over and I'd go back home when the show is over.

I have always been those who ask a lot of questions. But this time, i simply can't form the questions. The thoughts just won't form themselves into something intelligible to the outer world. I simply wait. Wait for all this to pass.

The point of the matter is that(Yes, i finally come to this. sorry i have am compelled to digress.Can't help it, its just how i've been compiled.) the "golden past" as it generally seem to me, is it really golden? or do i simply think it better in comparison to what i hold now coz of the intrinsic human nature of perennial complaint and dissatisfaction? Come to think of it, this is the best phase of my life, couldn't have asked for anything better, then why does my heart sometimes yearn for for i've left behind in the hands of the temporal?

The answer is: there is something inside me that is utterly STOOOOPID! and i am resolute now to get over it and bask in the glory of the present.

until later.
:D

5 comments:

Pesto Sauce said...

There is a past we all want to come back

Wriddh said...

The girl has grown up.."the dream is over-what can i say-but am still John"-Lennon.

nesquarx.com said...

Look! See those blurry lines? That's time, whizzing past at 299792458 meters per second... As of now, it goes that-a-way. You are allowed to dip into the stream, and savour. So savour, savour the memories of the past, savour the expectations of the future. But don't forget to taste the tang that's the present. I assure you the high will be worth it (:

ANWESHA said...

wen i flt d same around dat same tym..i belivd dat its abt adjstmnt...ur pst surroundings hv adjsted 2 an environmnt sans u, nd doesnt need 2 complete itslf now....

Bitter God said...

hehe... everyone goes thru this shite sometime or the other... duality as they call it... life moves on, whether you are there or not... its fine... all you can do is live your life... and dont throw the past in a dustbin... it still is worth keeping in an album....