darkness

"Have you ever willfully asked darkness to completely envelope you?" - something that someone asked me while interpreting a song.

It has been haunting me , some-times appearing in front of me in neon lights, for the past 25 hours, non-stop.

Why?

Maybe I have hit the self-destruct button. Because all the supposed strides that I am taking on the path of success has been a way to escape what I have no energy left to face.  But not facing means avoiding it, never moving past it and the knowledge of what actually is happening is not helping a tiny winy bit.

I have been DEE DEE (Dexter's laboratory fame) for a long time now[remember "Oooooo WHAT DOES THIS BUTTON DO?"], pushing all the buttons, bright and shiny, that show the promise(however insincere) of fixing things, without really giving it a thought.

I had thought being reckless is just a trait that saggitarians have. But i guess there is a difference between being reckless and being a mindless cartoon who wears a pink tutu all her life and loves unicorn!

I don't know if I would stop being so reckless about important decisions of my (emotional)life from this moment on or not.I seemed to have lost the ability to control certain things, certain events and certain affects on my stooopid brain.

But one thing that I know I am certainly going to do is go eat some amazing dessert, RIGHT NOW! Taro cake! here I come.

Talk about being reckless.

p.s(repetition#1): The lack of posts here is because I am on a trip (read less time for introspection and contemplation which I am fond of)and hence concentrating more on my travel blog http://amropali.co.cc/