stuck

It is paradoxical to see that at the same time when I am under the highest Pascal/ Newton meter squared of pressure to squeeze my brain off of the last idea/word/opinion that I can, to finish the cart load of assignments have due, I feel the most urgent need to post a blog.

I have noticed a pattern in this. It is almost like half the brain (of what I am using) keeps hitting my head with the words 'I don't want to type! I DON'T WANT TO TYPE! I dOn'T wAnT tO tYpE!!!' and the rest of it yells its lungs out (ha!) saying  "Type in a post , TYPE IN A POST, tYpE iN a PoSt" I have to give in to one or the other.

 Most the time its a coin being flipped and other times its my brother receiving a complex algorithm(I am serious, Google is full of complex mathematical equations) in his inbox, the ans to which will help me decide what to choose(almost 100% of the times the ans I get is "Get a life B*****!' lemme sleep"). So I type something pointless, something that is a total waste of , not only, my time but of anybody who cares to read and the ones who after reading are gracious enough to leave a comment.

But this is my blog. I don't get grades for this(hell, I should. I'd fare much better, if I did) but at least I know I am capable of thought that is beyond the textbooks, beyond what is prescribed or expected.

But the fact remains, I am STUCK.

The coffee didn't help, neither did the rejuvenating nap.

2 pages down 12 more to go...

p.s: *sigh* I know dear keypad.... I will write you an elegy when I am here next time around.

I don't want to make sense

I don't think I have been as confused as I am now even when I was supposes to be officially/biologically confused(read in my teens) owing to my hormones.


There are times when you don't know what is what, let alone knowing what is right  /wrong.
these are the times you should do what ever you please i.e., no rational thinking(u can't think rationally if u don't have ur facts), no killing people's time asking for advice, no jumping to the worst case scenario. Just do IT! 




For instance, I know I am confused about something coz every time (the case since the last 30+ hours) I close my eyes-that includes the times when I blink or try to flirt(read wink) - I can see question marks --> ???. Sometimes in colour, sometimes with sparkles and sometimes just mocking me. But does that stop me from doing all the things I want to do, unthinkingly, without guilt? The answer: Hell no.

Its easy to solve things when you know there is a solution.
What do I do when there seems to be no problem and consequently no solution.
But then I could  be obtuse. Not dumb, just willingly/subconsciously/ unconsciously obtuse. Refusing to see things for what they are.


No wonder its so comfortable. Disgustingly smug.


Polithinks: Comfort is uncomfortable or am I too paranoid, hiding behind the veil of question marks?

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