The sky was black. Not the black that leads you to despair, but the black that makes you want to lie back and gaze at it, and for some unknown reason count the glittering, luminous spheres of plasma spread over it generously. I was, however, too self-involved to even care.
Just last Sunday, in one of his restless, philosophizing mood, he had told me, 'I know my dream is to be the guy who has everything -immeasurable, insane amount of money, women , crazy, easy success and all of this without the side effects, of course. I want a peace too, you see. ' After a moment's consideration, he adds, (his voice dipping, making him sound more sincere, less pretentious) ' You'd think having lived all this while shaping a dream this elaborate and to die young, before achieving it would be a tragedy but the catch is that you would have already achieved it in a way then. How? You would then become the person who had almost superhuman potentials a perfect entity, the guy-who-could-have-achieved-anything-he-put-his-mind-to. Your self-doubt, your moments of excruciating insecurities and over-critical self-reflection would then vanish and would have existed in vain. For you, apparently, had what it took to be what you dreamt of.'' His eyes glued to the screen, not staring at anything in particular, just seemed to have forgotten my presence next to him.
The next moment we are busy watching a mindless comedy and laughing our guts out just for the heck of it. He had always been a little strange; 'eccentric', he liked to call himself. This is, probably, why he was the one guy whom I trusted since I was a kid. Maybe his was a case of borderline neurosis, but he knew the line between being selfish and being a cold hearted betrayer and he had always respected it...until one day when he decided to betray my faith on his insanity and jump off the roof.
He just let me stand by and watch him die.
He may have meant it for me to be a part of his grand scheme, his master-plan to make sure he achieves everything he but I refuse not to feel betrayed just because he is dead.I did not ask to be a part of this and be damned for ever.
Today as I saw the twilight hue fade to give way to the black sky, I noticed the sky and the ever-so-many twinkles from the beautiful explosions of gas, performing, as it seemed to me, specially for me.
|Picture credit: Xavier Photography|